Wednesday, June 18, 2014

My dog is running interference.

I'm pretty sure my dog is running interference in my love life.

Example 1

 The other day I was at the dog park. There was a really cute boy, with a glorious beard, there with his dog. Now, we all know that beards are a very important part of my dating life. In fact, I will probably not date you if you do not have a high beard potential. ( There are, of course, exceptions to this, but they are few and far between. )

 But back to the story.

Try as I might, my dog barely showed any interest in the dog owned by this cute boy. Instead, he showed lots of interest in the dog, a beautiful Great Dane, owned by a elderly couple. They were a wonderful couple and I had a great chat with them, but they were not the cute, bearded boy I wanted to mingle with.


It has been suggested that my dog knew that if he hung out with Cute Boy's dog, I would give the boy all the attention, thus there would be less attention for my dog. But, I really don't think my dog thinks that much.

It has also been suggested that my dog sensed that there was something evil and sinister about Cute Boy and thus avoided Cute Boy's dog to save me from his evil ways. This theory has a little bit more credibility then the previous but again, I don't think my dog was thinking this much.

Example 2

Remember Guitar Playing Physics Teacher, A.K.A. White Neil DeGrasse Tyson? I briefly mentioned him in my first post.

He met me one night as I was walking my dog at the off leash park. We were sitting on a picnic table after he had finished serenading me. ( He does that. Sings and plays guitar ). Serenading deserves some kissing in my books. We start making out. All of a nose right in the middle of our faces! My dog, a 13" tall basset hound, had managed to climb up on the picnic table and insert himself between me and White NDT. Last I had checked he had been content laying on the grass under the table.

Dog nose tends to kill the mood a little. Funny how I never heard from him again after that.

Example 3

Star Trek Lover was over at my place because my dog had run into a car ( I can't really say he was hit by a car because, in my understanding of the events, he hit the car ) and I needed to watch him for a few days. STL came over to hang out. We were sitting quit closely on the couch, enjoying the classic rock I was playing on Songza ( BEST APP. EVER! ) and talking about Star Trek. Dog decided he's going to join us. Jumps up on the couch and lays down on STL's lap. He's a 60 lb. dog. STL was very gracious and allowed Dog to claim his lap as a resting place but it really does prevent any romantical things from happening. And thus, nothing romantical happened.

Come to think of it, haven't heard from him since then either.

I see a pattern here.

If you ever need some interference on a date, let me know, I can rent Dog out for a few hours. He won't mind a bit.

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