Saturday, July 12, 2014

* Disclaimer: The following blog post contains errors in grammar, spelling and punctuation. They are not my mistakes ( well, the really bad ones aren't ). All conversations are transcribed exactly as they were originally received. *

Dun, dun, da da dada daaaa. ( Law and Order theme song. )

" Youve lost a lot of weight havnt you? " 

Yes, that was the first message he sent me. 

Backstory: I have lost a lot of weight over the last couple years, around 100lbs I am guessing. I have a photo on my profile of me and Patrick Stewart. I am quite a bit heavier in this photo and it's not the best photo ever taken of me but.... SIR PATRICK STEWART!!!! 
Photo in question. I made him giggle a bit with my fan-girl dorkiness.

As we can see, I look slightly different now. I am about the third the size now as I was in this photo, but I don't care because it's MOTHA-FUCKING SIR PATRICK STEWART!!! It was the greatest moment of my life and dammit, I'm going to share it with people whether I look good or not. ( For the record, Sir Patrick Stewart looks great! )

Moving on.

I'm not sure whether this guy meant his message as a compliment or just an observation but I found it kind of an odd way to start a conversation. 

It's a nice way of saying " You used to be fat? " 

YES, yes I was fat and am still chubby and I'm not ashamed of it, so there. * stick my tongue out at you*

This conversation continues with his next message:

" You should give me a hair cutt sometime ;) lol a nice old trim job "

A nice, old trim job, eh? With a winky face included. Hmmm, could there be a double entendre hidden in this message? A very thinly veiled second meaning? Maybe of the sexual variety? Hmmmm.

I replied with " Yes, I have lost a lot of weight over the last couple years, "
" Hmmm your a bit older then me...but want to be friends? "

You just realized this?! Did you not even glance at my profile before messaging me? 

I guess he no longer wants that " good old trim job " from this old lady.

I replied. 

" Yes, I am a bit older then you. Lol, "

I'm not completely sure what this boy ( he's 25 ) was trying to accomplish with this exchange. I'm not sure of the thought process involved or why any of these comments seems like a good idea. Can someone explain it to me, please???!!!

This brings me to another thing.

A number of times guys have messaged me with something along the lines of " I need a hair cut. lol " or mentioned needing a hair cut when chatting with me.  

Are they trying to be witty? Are they just trying to find something in common with me? Are they trying to find an unassuming way to meet me? Do they want me to touch them without trying? Do they think I offer 'extra services"?

On my end, it is profoundly annoying.

 I don't say " Hey, Mr. Welder, can you weld me some stuff? lol " 


" Hey Mr. Trucker, can you haul some stuff for me? lol " 

or even!

" Hey, Mr. Computer Tech, can you fix my computer? lol " ( this is a very practical skill and everyone wants a computer tech to fix their computer. )

No, I don't want to cut your hair! I don't know you and I don't want our first meeting ( and I get quite nervous about first meetings of this kind ) to be me working while you sit there. I have to work while you get to sit there and relax. I am now nervous about the meeting AND I have to give you a good hair cut.  Most people would like to leave with all of their ears still on their heads and without bleeding. 

OH! And they also want a great hair cut.

Is this a test? If I give you a bad hair cut will you never call me again?  

This is not only through messages. Each and every date I have been on has asked me about their hair, mentioned their hair, defended their hair or asked about getting a hair cut. Every time I kind of sigh and try to change the subject. I can talk about my career but don't ask me to work while on a 'date'.

I would think roller derby would be a more exciting conversation then hairdressing.


Change of subject. 

p.s. I am not angry at these guys just annoyed a bit. I am sure they are all just trying to be nice and take an interest in my work.

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