Saturday, July 5, 2014

There's someone I'm longing to see, I hope that he turns out to be....



It's easy to get laid ( at least for me it is ).
It's easy to find that meaningful connection with someone. Well, maybe not easy but I have people who I have a deep, meaningful, emotional connection with.
It's easy to find someone to hang out with.
It's even easy to get a hug. 

The one down side to being single is the lack of cuddling. Sometimes one just wants to snuggle up to someone and cuddle. Maybe watch a movie, listen to music, smoke a certain plant, take a nap...whatever you feel like doing while cuddling that DOES NOT INVOLVE SEX!

It always ends up in sex.

Guy: I like cuddling.
Me: That's great. Me too.
Guy: Cuddling naked is the best.
Me: ....uh huh...
Guy: * explicit sexual things he would like to do to me while "cuddling"*
Me: * eye roll and sigh *

** Disclaimer: The above conversation is a generalization of conversations I have on a fairly regular basis. **

THAT is not cuddling. Cuddling is like a really long hug, a hug you could take a nap in. Usually, it is done with at least some clothes on and doesn't lead to sex. ( Well, it could lead to sex but that's not the intent initially )

I get it, men are always horny and always want sex. That's your argument, right? No guy actually wants to cuddle, right? Maybe not. Maybe to a guy, cuddling always leads to sex or the want to have sex.

But let me use the above conversation as an example. If it had gone more like this:

Guy: I like cuddling. "
Me: That's great. Me too. 
Guy: I like having a girl close and just letting her relax. Maybe watch a movie. Clothes on of course. 
Me: Oh!! Really??!! That sounds wonderful.
Guy: Let's cuddle tonight.
Me: OK!

Now, I realize that no guy would actually say all those things, but I'm generalizing again.

The difference with the second conversation is that this guy is probably going to at least get a kiss out of this if not other things,  where as in the first conversation, he is most definitely not. He is not even going to get to see me, let alone have sex with me.

Do you understand the difference?

Now that I've cleared that up we can move on.

I really just want to cuddle sometimes. Seriously, and when a guy says he likes or wants to cuddle and then immediately moves the idea into the sex zone, it really disappoints me. If you just want sex, just say so, be honest. It may be that that's what I want as well.
But don't tell me you want to cuddle when really what you want is sex.

The closest I've come to cuddling with someone in almost 2 years is when I snuggled up to Pile Driver ( one of my derby teammates ) in this photo:

All I want is to cuddle, on a couch with a man and his beard. 

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